Would You Kindly Open The Doors, Please?

DISCLAIMER: If you are a teacher or administrator at a school please don't take offense to this blog - unless you are at my daughter's school.

Well, it's official. I now have a kindergartner in the house. Some days I think I have a teenager, but really it's just a 5 year old.

Her first day was emotional but not for the reasons I had expected. You see, her school's administration is apparently void of either planning or intelligence. It was as if they had never had planned on kids arriving for school. Let me explain.

I have about a five minute window to drop Amanda off at school and get back on the road in order to arrive at my job on time. The school supposedly has early drop off at 7:45am. (Or so the sign says.) I have to be at work at 8am. I work 10 minutes away. (Word problem: If Joe is delayed 20 minutes then how late will he be to work, and how much time does he have to request off from work for being late? Show your work. Answer at the bottom of the blog.)

When I arrived at the school at 7:45 there was a horde of parents and antsy K-2nd graders standing outside of every door to the school. Being the first day of school, every kid had over-stuffed knapsacks and looks of anxiety and/or dread. Amanda and I walked up and I asked the person in front of the locked doors what was going on. She responded they were not opening the doors until 7:45. My cell phone said 7:46 and the school clock said 7:43. I told one parent waiting the school really should get a clock that is set to the right time. I was quite ticked off. So, I headed to the main front doors with Amanda in tow to see if there was another way in or at least a clock set to the right time. As we walked down the sidewalk Amanda said, "At least I am getting my exercise in this morning with this running." I forgot her legs are a forth as long as mine. When we got there another horde of parents/kids were standing around looking like sheep headed to slaughter. I saw a former client with his family standing outside the main doors and I asked him what was going on. He told me that they were not opening the doors until 8am. I told him, "that's a problem and I am a problem solver!" I was even more ticked off.

I marched straight over to the front doors, looked for a sign that said "Opening at 8am" - I didn't find one. I looked around and nearly every parent was on their cell phones saying the same thing - "I'm still at the school and they are not opening the doors until 8am. I'm going to be late at work." With no notice on the door and the feeling that I had about 20 parents cheering me on, I went over to the glassed-in office window, waited until someone walked through the office and banged on the window and motioned with my pointer finger to come outside. The woman who reluctantly looked up was one of the secretaries and, reading her lips, shook her head and told me "8am". I was mad. At that I shook my head and banged again on the window and motioned with my pointer finger again (yes, that finger again!) for her to come outside so we could "talk". As soon as I did that she picked up the phone. My first thought was "Oh, no! She's calling the cops and I am getting arrested! Where's my badge?" (For the record, I would never use my badge in any way to get out of a situation involving law enforcement personnel...at least not blatantly.)

The secretary hung up the phone and reaches for what looked like keys and headed for the doors. At this same time, a woman (administrator/principal?) walked up from the parking lot and said, "Oh, the doors are not opened? Let me go in and get a key." She walked through the main doors and was greeted by the secretary and together they headed back into the office. The two talked for about 30 seconds and then the secretary came and unlocked the main doors without explanation. It's now 7:55am. I was steamed and felt my face turning red. Amanda and I, fresh off our conquest of charging the school building, were the first through the doors. We got to the 2nd set of doors and boom - they were locked. I looked over to the secretary with disgust and she yelled out, "everyone has to come through the office." I yell back, "Yeah, that makes sense!" So we retreated into the office and the secretary asked me, "Are you parent drop-off?" Now remember, she had seen that I was a demonstrably annoyed, red-faced parent carrying a clear, purple-strapped, Wizards of Waverly Place backpack overflowing with school supplies of all sizes with a wide-eyed, nicely dressed 5 year old frantically being drug in my wake. I held my tongue and said "yeah". (My mind said other things.) This secretary then said, "For future reference... parent drop off is at the other door." I said back with gritted teeth, "It...was... not....open."

Anyway, because Amanda had this large backpack that was full of back-to-school items, I thought it best to take this mountain of supplies straight to her cubbie in her classroom and place it there rather than having them strewn from one end of the school to the other. We headed down the darkened hallway to the far end where her classroom is located. Amanda's pig tails were flopping in the air as she said to me, "Dad, why are we running?" I said, "we are NOT running, there's no running in school. We are walking very fast!" She placed her pack in her assigned spot and we quickly retraced our steps down the hallway. No one had told us where the kids were gathering and no official-type person could be found. Another dad and child were talking with someone I assumed was a male teacher and I heard the teacher say, "I don't know what's going on this morning." As I passed by, I piped up and said, "Do you know where we're supposed to drop off the kids?" The teacher said, "I don't know." To that I responded, "Then it's unanimous!" and headed towards the office. As we neared the main entrance again, I saw another parent and asked them if they knew where we were supposed to be. She said that she supposed the gym. Amanda and I turned around again and began searching for the gym. We came upon a woman who seemed teacher-like and I ask where the gym was located. She pointed down the hallway to a sign that I didn't see. She pointed again and then I realized from our distance, you had to be under 5'5" to see the sign. I am 6'2". It was hanging from the ceiling and if I bent down I could see it.

As we entered the gym, there was mass confusion. Luckily, Amanda's former Pre-K teacher was headed our way and told us, "Apparently, the kids are supposed to find their class mascot and gather there for now. We will then take each group to their respective classrooms." Finally, some instructions!!!! It was 8:04.

I put Amanda under her mascot with about 5 other kids - one of which was a girl named Allison who looked like she was scared. I introduced Amanda to her new best friend and left her with a hug, a kiss and our secret "daughter-power" hand shake. It was 8:05.

Every thought in my head said to march back to the office and have an "airing of grievances" with the friendly principal. I was already late to work - and getting later by the minute. I remembered I had specifically left the morning void of scheduled clients so if I were to get too distraught over Amanda's first day of Kindergarten I could take an hour off to compose myself before I had to see clients. Despite what my brain was saying, I left school grounds without "discussing" the situation with the school staff. I wanted to... I really did. Instead I thought it best to get some breakfast and cool off and then return if I still felt the need or head onto work. A McDonald's breakfast and a call into work seemed to do the trick. I decided that I would not start off Amanda's school reputation as having the "Insane Dad". I bet Luke will thank me, too, since that kind of reputation can last a few years!

All in all, Amanda had a great day, and now a week later, she really loves school (her 3 recesses!) and her teachers. The ironic aspect of this entire fiasco is that after Amanda's second full day of school her backpack had a hand out on "HOW TO DROP OFF YOUR CHILDREN". I think every kid received one - not just the insane, window-pounding, finger-pointing, sarcastic dads!

WORD PROBLEM ANSWER: If I had gone straight to work after dropping Amanda off I would have arrived 15 minutes late. We must take full hours off and can not flex. (Thanks union rules!) Since I took off two weeks of work in July while I was sick/hospitalized, that leaves precious few hours of vacation/sick time that I can take. Every hour I take off I try and make count!

Things with the drop off schedule seems to be improving. The doors are opening nearly on time and people seem to know what they are to do. If they get worse again, you can rest assured there is a window that I will be pounding on!