Saturday, February 21, 2009

Oh, Waiter!

Ok, I'm back to writing about life as a single dad and away from griping about those assaulting the building blocks that made America great.

I have not had a "plan" on a Saturday for quite a while. My last Saturday "plan" was probably one that was dictated to me by my lovely wife. Today, I had a plan. It wasn’t elaborate, but it was adventuresome. At least for us. Here’s what the plan was.... 1) Make breakfast (waffles), 2) let the kids watch some TV, 3) clean the kitchen, 4) start award-winning chili, 5) load up the kids in the car, 6) stop by mom’s and retrieve some really, really old Hot Wheels track, 7) shop at Target in Marion, 8) eat at Steak n Shake, 9) return home for naps/rests. Isn’t that enough by 1pm?

I know, I know, half of you are saying, "that’s my typical Saturday!" The other half of you are probably saying "what award?"

Everything went well and according to the "plan". My only complaint was at Steak n Shake. On the weekends now they let kids eat free. Quite a deal. Unfortunately, I got ticked off, right off the bat. Our waiter "assumed" that someone else was joining us. Now, I have worked in the restaurant business - but never as a waiter - and I do know a few things about it. First of all, don’t assume. You ask. I have eaten by myself numerous times before and since Cindy’s death and this is the first time someone assumed that I would have someone else coming to eat with us. For some reason, that rubbed me the wrong way. Seriously, wrong. I just couldn't believe he had the nerve to think that someone else had to be coming.

Maybe he thought someone would be joining me because I was with the kids. Yeah, that’s it. I think this whole incident was an indictment of the waiter... He would have had to have a woman help wrangle two kids at a restaurant. He never would have taken his kids out to eat by himself, therefore NO ONE would do it. Yeah, he was the guy who never took his kids off his wife’s hands for a night to let her get away with her friends. I bet he’s divorced. I bet he lives alone in a single apartment on the south side of Marion. (Disclaimer: Not that there’s anything wrong with that part of Marion!) I bet he left his wife with the kids every chance he got to go play pool at Hurley’s. (Disclaimer #2: I have only heard that you can play pool at Hurley’s. Apparently there’s other things that go on there, but that is strictly hearsay!)

Oh, and he didn’t give us silverware, there was not catsup on the table and Amanda didn’t get her applesauce that she ordered. But hey, the kids ate for free!

And to answer the question from above, I won 2nd place at the ‘07 Grand Avenue Christian Church Fall Round Up Chili Cook-Off (GACCFRUCCO for short.) I think the prize was a $10 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Why Should I Pay Your Mortgage?

Now I normally don’t get all political on this blog. I rode Rod B. pretty hard on occasion, but I don’t believe I was alone on that one! (Think he knows the term "crap weasel?" Friends reference.) At SIUC, I majored in Administration of Justice (hence a career in Probation!) and minored in Political Science (hence what I am writing about tonight).

Being born when I was (1970), my first foggy memories of anything political was President Ford. I remember President Carter and his brother Billy. Wasn’t there a story about a rabbit, or some kind of animal involving the Carters? Anyway, I remember nothing about Vietnam, nothing about the protests and vaguely the run on gas in the ‘70s. I remember my dad saying, "Reagan will never serve out his term." It was my dad who didn’t make it. I remember watching the evening news nearly every night wondering what all that doom and gloom was really about and thinking that everything must be wrong.

What I don’t remember is Americans being so upset with their government and having so little say to stop what is going on. I also don’t remember so many who were "mesmerized" by a political figure as is happening with President B.H.O. I am one of those evil "right-wingers" so if you are left-leaning you will probably dismiss what I am saying right off the bat.
Here’s what I overheard yesterday at Pizza Hut in Murphysboro, IL from three senior citizens who I eaves-dropped on.
Woman 1: "Can you believe that bill that they passed. Did you see what they
are going to do with some of that money?"
Woman 2: "I am so @#$% mad. I don’t
get it. They are not even sure if the @#$ thing is going to work. And why in the
#$% should I pay a #$% cent so someone else can stay in their #$% house that
they couldn’t afford in the first place. This @#%$ has got to stop."
Woman 1: "I am scared. I have never been this concerned about the future than I am today. But I know one thing. He better not touch my #$% Social Security. I worked #@$ hard for that money and it better be there."
Man 1: Didn’t say a thing. He kept eating. Obviously a very smart man.

I have overheard this same conversation (sometimes even without the curse words) at grocery stores, gas stations, restaurants and in homes for the past couple of months. So much has "changed" in this nation in the last 6 months - all because of a "crisis" - I don’t recognize this country as the one I grew up in. It used to be that in hard times, the President would come on the TV and say something like, "We as Americans are the best workers in the world. We can overcome this through hard work, perseverence and a tenacity that made this country the envy of the world. Our best days are ahead." I am not hearing that now. What we hear now as President O flies over all over the country is if you are not working it’s no big deal. I have a plan to "help" you through this "crisis". We’ll give you money for your mortgage and pay you more to have more kids. We are going to raise taxes and give money from people who have a job and are making ends meet to those of you who aren’t. Those of you who have been looking for work, we are going to give a ton of money to the big unions (UAW has something like $1.3 billion in assets) and they will hire you. Oh, and we are still telling the auto industry what vehicles to build and bank who to lend to and we’re coming after health care next.

Other than bombing and breaking things via the military, what has the government ever done well and economically sound? Social Security? Nope. Government-backed mortgages? NOPE! Schools? Nope! Transportation? Nope Welfare? Nope!!!! Why, then would we want to expand what they are in charge of?

What gets me is this... all of this money that is being printed to cover the spending (spendulous) bill has not addressed ANY of the core reasons why we are in the "crisis". There is an inevitable outcome when you print extra money like we are.... massive inflation. And when it hits it’s going to be very bad. The good news is that there’s a growing number of American’s who think like I do. They(we) are livid over our government over-reaching it’s boundaries and entering areas of everyday life that is now effecting our freedoms and liberties on a wide scale. For too long we have lived on a slippery slope. Luckily, that slope was not too steep. Now that slope is steep and greased.

And one more thing. I applaud the Republicans in the House and Senate (minus the 3 closet Democrats) for not voting for this bill. President O can say what he wants about "working" with the Republicans, but if it were that important for America, Republicans would have been first to sign it.

It hasn’t taken too long for me to recognize that all this "change" is not going to benefit me or America.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I Call Her A Mini-Me

As far as being a dad goes - I think I am doing pretty well. I love being a dad. I am one of those "hands on" dads. I love giving my kids "airplane" rides complete with turbulence. I love playing trains with Luke and cooking with Amanda. Is there a better feeling than when you first get home from work and you hear "daddy, daddy, daddy" from your two favorite people in the world as they run as fast as their growing legs can carry them? Is there any wonder I come home for lunch everyday? I love watching Luke’s brain try to figure out the best way to get me to forget about what I’m doing and to sit with him in the living room floor. I love Amanda’s 5 year old going on 11 brain attempting to argue the merits of whatever argument she is trying to win.

I love to watch Luke run from the kitchen sink to the play area (dinning room) 10 times in a row - all the while watching himself in the kitchen sliding glass door. Or, Amanda drawing or crafting or scrapbooking like her mom or ‘advanced’ coloring like her dad does.

I’m still amazed by Amanda and her ability to cope with this situation that our family is in. She is still pretty well adjusted. She has a few moments - nothing like before - where she is sad/angry. She still has me crying nearly every night during our prayers. She has now started to wear one of Cindy’s t-shirts as a night shirt. Nearly every night she says something like, "Do I look like mommy in this shirt?" With her curly hair, she could wear a box and still look like Cindy. As one of Cindy’s friends said - "she is a Mini-Me."

Some of Cindy’s childhood friends have authored and had printed a hard cover book of childhood memories of Cindy. It was one of the nicest gestures anyone has done for us. Amanda and I are slowly reading through that book each night before bed. I have heard some of the stories, but others are new even to me. Some are "don’t you dare do that" stories, while others are more benign. I am sure Amanda and Luke will get more out of the stories (and a few ideas!) when they grow up a little bit more, but they’re still fun now for Amanda. I am also enjoying the book as I travel this grief road and remember Cindy in better times.

Say what you want about single parents raising kids in this PC world... but take it from a single dad.... no matter how good a dad you are... you can’t be a mom.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Music City, USA

This long weekend, Amanda and I packed up and hit Music City, USA. Well, actually we drove past Nashville to Franklin, TN, home of everyone with money in the Nashville area and also Cindy’s cousin’s family. It has been quite a long time since I had been to the Nashville area and I wanted to make good on a promised vacation with Amanda. We were supposed to go to the Wisconsin Dells last summer, but Cindy was never well enough for a 4 day car trip and water parks. Amanda had been after me to go where we can "stay in a fancy hotel". To Amanda, anyplace that is not home is a fancy hotel - I hope she always believe that because that will save a TON of money in the coming years! On a side note - many of the houses in Franklin are unbelievably huge. If you get a chance to go that direction... just drive around. It’s worth the cost of gas!

In fact, we did stay at a "fancy" hotel - the Hyatt Place in Franklin on Friday night. I picked that one because they had a pool and I guessed that a Hyatt would keep their pool fairly clean. That kinda stuff is important to me! They did, in fact, have a pool.... an outdoor, closed for the season pool. Luckily they had a 42" LCD TV in the room which is the next best thing for Amanda and dad!


Anyway, this trip was also a vacation for Joe. A 4 hour trip with a 5 yr old is a vacation. A 4 hour trip with a 5 yr old and a 22 mo old is torture by anyone’s definition, therefore, Luke got to stay home with the grandparents. I was also in need of some time away from our "grind". I have not had a lot of time away from home and it’s rare I get fun time with Amanda. I also wanted Amanda to have some time with her nearly year old cousin. Cindy was very close with her cousins and I want to try and nurture that bond with Amanda and the next generation of cousins, too.

Cindy and I had been to Franklin a number of years ago and loved the quaint downtown. I thought of that trip as I drove I-24. I burst into tears, not even conscience that I was doing it, as I began to think of Cindy. What was supposed to be just a vacation ended up a trip through my memories of Cindy. She and I vacationed nearly every fall in Gatlinburg so I could place a memory at nearly every exit and every town along the way. I remembered our 1st (pre-dating) trip to Johnson City, TN to see a DC Talk concert. I remembered her driving my old ‘93 Eagle Talon on that trip and helping her adjust the driver’s side mirror as she drove along the Interstate. I remembered that we didn’t correct a car salesman when he took us for an engaged couple so that we could spend the afternoon test driving a Honda Del Sol alone. I remembered that after that particular trip we started dating. I remembered her knowing exactly how far it was to anyplace else since she had driven that road numerous times on her way to and from Milligan College in the eastern corner of TN. I remembered how often we would say that eating out was the reason you went on vacation.

It was a good trip. Our hosts were awesome. I also met a wonderful Christian couple with whom I have now become friends through a golf tournament that I didn’t even attend (a blog for another day). A very nice sheriff’s deputy in Franklin was also kind. (Another story for another blog!) It was a good trip.


A good vacation and a good trip down my memories.