Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Circle the Date

I can't help but notice a certain anniversary is coming in a week. That date, while just another number on the calendar is more than a date to me. It signifies the time my life changed forever. Not only that, my family's future was forever altered because of that date.

10/29 will always signify to me the date that the most significant person in my life left me. I know deep down I will see her another day in the (hopefully, far) distant future and that she is far better off now than she ever was when she was here. Her best day here pales in comparison to any day where she is now!

I have never been one to make major issues out of anniversaries - good or bad ones. I actually had forgotten that my kidney transplant anniversary was this week. Sixteen years ago I went through what I thought then was the most life-altering event I would have to encounter for a long time. I think when you forget an anniversary, you can officially say you have "moved on." For some reason, I don't think 10/29 will ever be forgotten. I am thankful for the 9 years of marriage and 7 years prior to that in which I knew Cindy. I thank God every night for the example she set and the kids she gave me.

I don't believe for an instance that I have "moved on". I do believe that I have "dealt with" what was set before me in a manner that God and Cindy would both approve. Looking back, it is hard to believe it has only been a year. Then again, I can look back and say "where did this year go?"

I am so thankful for everyone who has helped us out this past year. I can't list everyone - but you know who you are! Even this week, I have received help from friends who don't mind a couple of hours of their time to look after the kids.

Everything has not been smooth. (No pink socks yet, though!) I have learned a lot about myself and what I can handle or not. Mostly I learned that God is in control and I don't have to have all the answers.... especially when Luke asks, "but why, daddy?"