Why not Charlotte?

There’s a funny thing that happens when I sit down at this computer to start writing my near daily blog entry.

It always starts pretty much the same way. If you are a writer, you know the drill. There’s a moment when you sit down and stare at the blank screen before you. Unfortunately for me, I just purchased a new, larger, flat panel monitor and now there’s more blank screen than I previously had to contend with.

Luckily for me, this endeavor is not as painstakingly difficult as the papers I had to produce in school. Maybe it’s easier due to the advent of computers rather than typewriters and their silly correction tape ribbons that were always needing to be replaced. Maybe it’s because I don’t have to write 500 words before 2nd period tomorrow. For whatever the reason, writing on this blog is fun. I wish I didn’t have to do it - I wish there was no reason anyone would feel the need to check in on the car crash of our family. Oh, the funny part - let me get to that.

Have you ever seen Sex in the City? Yeah, me neither. If you have, then you know that Carrie is a writer and nearly every episode has her typing and narrating about some aspect of being single in New York. Each episode delves into her and her friends struggles regarding men, work, relationships,... and shoes. Seriously, I have never seen it!

So Carrie narrates and types. When I write - I narrate, too! The funny thing is - I hear Carrie’s voice when I type. Of the four SITC women Carrie is my 2nd favorite and I have never been a huge fan of Sarah Jessica Parker. You know how frustrating that is??? I can think of some others that I personally would rather hear. I don’t know...maybe, Minnie Driver, Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Aniston,... or Cindy.

Thank goodness it’s not Fran Drescher!

Ok, maybe I have seen a few episodes too many.

One Cool Idea

We have an abundance of ways to remember someone.

In sports, teams often wear a black ribbon around a jersey sleeve, or the individual’s uniform number or initials on a helmet, or sometimes the club retires the number of the deceased. In government, there are buildings, planes or ships named after individuals. The general public often names parks and civic awards in honor of outstanding community benefactors. (Don’t get me started on the memorial plaque-ing of church items!) In families, trees and gardens are planted and babies are sometimes named for past family members - we didn’t with Amanda and Luke, but we did happen to use "family" names. (Shhh. Don’t tell those that think we did!)

While we have not done anything specific to "memorialize" Cindy, the kids and I did do one thing yesterday morning in honor of Cindy.

Summertime was Cindy’s favorite time of the year. Summer meant sun, fun, boating, swimming, yard sales, and sno-cones. Several years back, Cindy bought an electric sno-cone maker from K’s. It was one of the coolest things she ever purchased, pardon the pun. We always had sno-cones at our summer party, at 4th of July, and Amanda sold them at our most recent yard sale. (She made $44 hounding shoppers until they bought one!) Cindy was the "Sno-Cone Girl". She had purchased nearly as many flavors as any local sno-cone hut you see on the road. The amount of money spent on flavored sugar water was quite a small fortune.

So yesterday while I dealt with the second day of being snowed-in at my house, alone with the kids, I had an idea. We could eat the snow. Amanda is always wanting to run outside during the lightest of flurries to catch flakes with her tongue, but this would be way cooler. I was right. I got a small cup of snow from off our deck, gave both kids a spoon, and told them to go to town. They did. Luke went over to the cabinet and pulled out a plastic cake plate topper. He turned it upside down and poured the snow into it. And then promptly asked for more snow to fill up the gallon sized cake lid. I saw that it was a better vessel to dig snow out of with a spoon, so I went along with his request and got 3 more scoops of snow and added it to his snow container. Then I had an idea which Cindy would have been proud of.

I remembered the sno-cone juice. I retrieved one bottle of flavoring (Cotton Candy) out of the garage and one more cup of snow from the deck. Amanda was starting to REALLY get excited. Hey, lets add straight sugar to your diet while you are stuck in the house with me! What a great idea, Dad! I poured the juice over the snow and it evolved into a paste. After it melted a little all was good and the kids dug into the "real" snow-cone with great joy. I told the kids that this sno-cone was in honor of mommy. Cindy would have gotten joy from seeing her kids (and me) on the floor, straw-spoons in hand eating that pink, pasty mess until it was all gone.

I miss Cindy tremendously. I was a better man with her. I am working hard on being a better Martha Stewart without her.

Has Anyone Seen My Other Shoe?

Falling temperatures, snow, sleet, freezing rain, icy pellets, and bitter cold winds. That’s what this week has had. But in the heart of another So. IL winter I think I am starting to warm up.

It seems my spirit has loosened up and brightened. I can see that even with all the obstacles and trials that I still must navigate, to borrow a very overused word, I have hope. (Sorry, President BHO, you ain’t supplying any hope this direction!) I'm not out of the clouds, but the drizzle has stopped and I can see a couple of rays of sun. There might even be a rainbow somewhere. Ok, now I am starting to sound like I wear a dress and have blue birds fly through the window every morning to wake me up. I need to eat a medium rare steak and watch some ultimate fighting.

I have never been a real big believer in the whole "think positive and good things come your way" philosophy. It has always been my contention that thinking positively removed a certain aspect called "hard work" from the equation of landing "good things". And to me it was just a phrase that men with an abundance of overly white teeth hawked in a book/cassette/CD/DVD late at night. But, I have a friend that has taken that phrase to heart and it’s seems to be working well for her!

However, my take on this phrase, after discussing it with her and thinking about it, is a little different. What if, rather than thinking continuously of positive things... just don’t think about all the possible negatives - or how something that has been going well might end? Then you can still put in your hard work and not worry about a crash that might, or might not happen.

So much of the last two years of my life has been spent waiting for the other shoe. It dropped. It crashed. It fell through the floor into the basement, rolled down the hall and clogged the sump pump. I hate the other shoe. I have had lots of shoes to plummet to the ground. But, I should realize there will always be those shoes and what good is it to prepare yourself for them. Anyway, you’re never really ready for them even if you know they’re around the corner.

I tell my clients, don’t worry about something until there’s something to worry about. As Christians, we are not to worry anyway. I think I am listening to my own advice again.

Maybe those shoes absconded with the proverbial missing sock.

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