Get On WIth It

It’s amazing how God works.

This was probably the most stressful week I have had in a long while. And of course, it was self-inflicted and unwarranted. I think that was what led to yesterday’s blog about my feelings. (Looking back at yesterday’s blog, I forgot to add "sad.")

I agreed to help out my church with designing and painting a large (8'x10') backdrop for the sanctuary. I was asked last week to do it, but of course for the first 3 days of last week, I was... um... counting the tiles in my bathroom. (17 from the door to the tub, 9 from the wall to the sink. 4 are broken. If you must know.) All of that "counting" got in the way of putting the mural on canvas. That left me a couple of days to design what the mural would look like and get supplies. Tuesday through today were the days I had left to get it actually painted while still trying to do my real job and care for the kids.

With the help of a friend we were able to get the grid down on the canvas early this week. And another friend and I were able to finish painting it today. Ok, he did most of the painting, but since I was the un-commissioned artist, I get the credit. Right? Anyway, it looks awesome. He did a great job on it and those of you who go to GACC will see it Sunday. I will take a picture of it on Sunday and post it on the somewhere for the rest of you to see it.

The point I am trying to make is that without these two friends, my week would have been even more stressed. They were able to help me get this project done - in time and better than I could have done it solo.

You can also add to the successful painting project, three great lunches this week where I spent time with friends. One lunch was with a former co-worker who left for SIU Law school where she will be graduating in the Spring near the top of her class. (I am so proud of her!) She and I share several similar life experiences and have always had a connection. One lunch was with a gentleman from my church who has been a wise counsel through these tumultuous times in my life. And the third lunch was with a former intern and now close friend who has been my "go to girl" for cheap counseling and to share my feelings. Looking back, all three lunches were good in a different way. All three were good meals, too. All three were able to supply me with something I needed that day.

I still stressed over getting the mural completed. I still stressed over bills and home matters. I still stressed over my growing pile of files at my office. I still remembered I shouldn’t stress. God is in control and He knows when you need a break. So hang on, the ride is just starting again.

Oh, What A Feeling!

What is this feeling?

Exhausted
Frustrated
Friendless
Over-whelmed
Isolated
Tired
Nervous
Paralyzed
Needy
Sick
Impaired
Cold
Leprous
Spread Thin
Aimless
Overemotional
Ill-tempered
Numb

Yeah, that about covers it.

Cave Time

Exactly when are you supposed to do everything you are supposed to do? That is the struggle I'm in right now.

At work, I have a pretty good idea of how long each of my required tasks take to do. Factor in the constant phone calls and court appearances that run long and I still can keep my work in a manageable pile.

At home, I have other issues. Specifically, two. Amanda and Luke. When we were a household of two adults and one kid, Saturday mornings were cleaning days and catch up days. Cindy was of the mind set that you work your tail off on Saturday morning (after yard sale-ing, of course) and then the rest of the weekend was free for the fun stuff. My idea was to eventually get stuff done on Saturday or Sunday, and enjoy a restful, leisurely weekend even while working. I'll admit that was a source of friction.

I wish I had that friction now, because it would mean something is getting done around here. With those two issues that I mentioned earlier, I can’t do much more than a 5 minute meal and a quickly swiped table. Clothes are getting done - from 10pm to 1am - most weeks. Vacuuming is done as warranted. Toys are picked up when stepped on. The cat is fed when she tells me she needs it. (She has a self-feeding and water bowl.) Wal-mart is visited immediately after work or with kids in tow on the weekends.

There’s something that guys enjoy after work. Cave time. I have heard psychologists say that we men are genetically predisposed to need a time after our "hunt" to change over to a "home-life" mentality. I am definitely one of those guys. As my life is going now - my "cave" time doesn’t happen until after the kids go to bed at 8pm. Unfortunately, 8pm is also when my body says... "Enough for today!" I know I need to stop listening to my body and do the stuff I need to do... but it’s hard to change what your body has been telling you for all these years.

I don’t want a flock of people helping me. I don’t want to need any help, either. I don’t even want sympathy. I don’t want this mess. I don’t want all this stuff everywhere. Of course, if this house had some closet space it would make life easier!

I do want Ty to come and give me a new, gigantic, clean house.