I Call Her A Mini-Me

As far as being a dad goes - I think I am doing pretty well. I love being a dad. I am one of those "hands on" dads. I love giving my kids "airplane" rides complete with turbulence. I love playing trains with Luke and cooking with Amanda. Is there a better feeling than when you first get home from work and you hear "daddy, daddy, daddy" from your two favorite people in the world as they run as fast as their growing legs can carry them? Is there any wonder I come home for lunch everyday? I love watching Luke’s brain try to figure out the best way to get me to forget about what I’m doing and to sit with him in the living room floor. I love Amanda’s 5 year old going on 11 brain attempting to argue the merits of whatever argument she is trying to win.

I love to watch Luke run from the kitchen sink to the play area (dinning room) 10 times in a row - all the while watching himself in the kitchen sliding glass door. Or, Amanda drawing or crafting or scrapbooking like her mom or ‘advanced’ coloring like her dad does.

I’m still amazed by Amanda and her ability to cope with this situation that our family is in. She is still pretty well adjusted. She has a few moments - nothing like before - where she is sad/angry. She still has me crying nearly every night during our prayers. She has now started to wear one of Cindy’s t-shirts as a night shirt. Nearly every night she says something like, "Do I look like mommy in this shirt?" With her curly hair, she could wear a box and still look like Cindy. As one of Cindy’s friends said - "she is a Mini-Me."

Some of Cindy’s childhood friends have authored and had printed a hard cover book of childhood memories of Cindy. It was one of the nicest gestures anyone has done for us. Amanda and I are slowly reading through that book each night before bed. I have heard some of the stories, but others are new even to me. Some are "don’t you dare do that" stories, while others are more benign. I am sure Amanda and Luke will get more out of the stories (and a few ideas!) when they grow up a little bit more, but they’re still fun now for Amanda. I am also enjoying the book as I travel this grief road and remember Cindy in better times.

Say what you want about single parents raising kids in this PC world... but take it from a single dad.... no matter how good a dad you are... you can’t be a mom.