How We Are Fairing

I thought it was about time for another update on how we are doing. Cindy has been in heaven now for 5 months. (My calendar reflects that Oct 29th is her Trip to Heaven Anniversary rather than Death Anniversary. For me, that is a better reminder of how she finally was freed of cancer.)

Amanda is growing so fast. She just went through another growth spurt and she is now 4' tall. She is solid and quickly getting too big to put on my shoulders or to lift up. I just signed her up for summer softball in Carbondale. You will be able to spot her - she will be the best player on the field in pink. Games start in April. She is excited because I am taking her and my mom to the Michael W. Smith/Steven Curtis Chapman concert on April 30th in Paducah. The guy I met in Franklin, TN, who knows MWS might come to the Paducah concert and if he does promised to take us back to meet Michael. Amanda is very excited about that possibility. (Almost as much as her dad.) She will also be the flower girl at my brother's wedding in Wichita on April 18th.

Luke is putting up to three words together. "Daddy move back." "Lukie do it." "St. Louis Big Arch." Those are just some of the phrases he can actually say. Oh, and he can count to four. He turns 2 next week and is all boy. He likes dump trucks, backhoes, fire engines, diggers, mounds of dirt or rocks, and sirens. He is the pickiest eater I have ever seen... since me! Luke is not traveling to the wedding. It's just too hard on everyone.

Joe is frustrated at work like never before. Our computer program has been down since about 9am on Monday. Apparently, there's a wire... somewhere... which is not labeled.... which needs to be switched to another place..... and that might fix the problem.... but they don't know. In the mean time, I can't enter notes, send appointment letters, change client's info, prepare violation reports, check to see if someone is my client or not, or much of anything useful. I am so glad we are going "paperless"!

As far as emotionally/mentally I think we are doing great. There's still not a day go by that I don't cry at some point about missing Cindy. The cries are of shorter duration and seem to come around in the evenings more than mornings. I still have a hard time hauling my behind to bed at a decent hour. I think that is part genetic and part mental. I have always been a night owl and Day Joe doesn't seem to mind being a little tired to make room for Night Joe staying up. Amanda is still very good about this whole new life that we have started.

I have never been really angry with God over Cindy's dying. Sad, aimless, lost, confused, tired, and stretched, but not "angry." Does not being angry make me a strong Christian? No. Does that make it sound like I am callous? I hope not - cause I am not. I think I have been able to accept what happens in life and move on due to all the "crap" I have had to deal with in my first 38 years of life. See my profile if you would like to see why I say "crap". (And there has been more to deal with than what I posted in my profile.)

Keep praying for us as we continue to adjust and move forward. Thanks.