Forwarded Message Embargo

Public Service Announcement paid for by FME of America:

I received a forwarded email today that actually made me laugh. Those are rare. Forwarded email seems to be an all of nothing thing. It seems there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who forward everything sent to them and the rest of us who have more important things in our lives than sending an unwanted, unfunny, or unmoving email to "10 of your closest friends in the next 15 minutes." If you aren't smiling... you must be in the first group.

This one made me smile. You know how I know it was funny? A friend of mine who never, EVER forwards emails sent it to me after he read it! He's my measuring stick on what is funny and he sent it. That means it has been stamped "FUNNY by Derek".

It's funny because it is a spoof. Spoof comedy is hard to write. The number of spoof movies which are genuinely funny can be listed on one hand. Writing spoofs should only be handled by trained professionals. Going too spoofy and you're off point - too much fun and not enough substance. Too on point and it'll lost its edge. It's a balance beam act on a high wire.

Here's the forwarded email.

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

Please, for the sake of the poor little guy in your computer that has to forward all those emails... just stop. If your email doesn't have the "Funny by Derek" stamp... don't forward it.

A Message from FME of America