Last email on Cindy

I have started this blog for a couple of reasons. First, I need to continue to find an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, etc. Secondly, I have been told I have a knack for writing - so who am I to argue. Third, I have always wanted a blog of my own. Most people I know who have one, have nothing much to say that I care to read about.

This first entry is the last email I sent out to notify friends and distant family that my wife had died. This email was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. I poured my soul into it. It says as much about my wife as it does about me if you will read deeply. I will post more in the coming days, weeks, and months. This is just a start - it also may be the finish. Time will tell.

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1 Thess 4:11-14
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. (from New International Version)
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Hi everyone,
I told you I would probably not write much more. There is really need for this one last email. This will take me a while to write.

Cindy died this morning, Oct. 29 at 1:27am, with me by her side in the hospice room at St. Joseph's hospital right after the Geoff Moore song "When All is Said and Done" ended. We believe that she is now walking on streets of gold and preparing the ultimate Bible Bowl team practice. She is finally free of pain after 14 months of dealing with the raveges of ovarian cancer. There was not a day in the last 14 months that she did not have pain - often debilitating pain. This afternoon, when I woke from my first real sleep in 2 days, I felt relieved. It was relief that I did not have to worry about how Cindy was feeling for the first time in over 420 days. Our family, despite extreme saddness, can now rejoice together that God's child is finally home. As Amanda said this morning, "Good for Mom, sad for us." At nearly 5 years old, she understands this much more than we do!

The above verse is Cindy's life in a nutshell. She was not someone who would lead a life seeking attention, but helped those that needed help. She was a great wife at home and excellent worker at her job. She lived her life and her faith. There was no doubt that she was a Christian and she would not back away from proclaiming it - but she wasn't going to scream it from a bullhorn. Her life was her witness for Christ - the most effective method to preach. She loved her church, Grand Avenue Christian Church in Carbondale, IL because it reflects the qualities I just mentioned. She enjoyed the joyous journey of life. She taught many young Christians thousands of Bible verses through her role as sponsor of Bible Bowl teams at First Christian and Grand Avenue churches. Even today, those students can appreciate their love of Scriptures because of the work Cindy did with them years ago.

Our prayer that began with the cancer diagnosis, reaffirmed only 3 weeks ago with Cindy, was that someone would see Christ through our struggle. I know I saw Christ through Cindy's struggle.

Her best job was that of mother. Looking at Amanda, you can see her work as a Christian mom. I suspect Luke will also grow in Christ because of the groundwork laid by Cindy.

Cindy was my best friend long before she became my best friend and my wife. We were only married for 9 years, but in those years we managed a lifetime of memories. I will miss her immensely - but her life (and likeness) will live on through our children and in those that she touched.

I can not name everyone who has walked this journey with us - and like an Oscar winner, I would surely leave someone out only to remember them right after I press "send". So, I will not even try. Please rest assured that every one of you was highly thought of by Cindy. We talked nearly every day about each card, email, meal, phone call, text msg, or prayer that was received on our behalf. Even as the concern for our family continues, please remember that Cindy is thankful. In the coming weeks and months I will be considering something that I can champion in Cindy's memory. I will let you know if something materializes.

Several months back, I asked you to notify me of all the churches/cities that were praying for Cindy. I realized that I never published the list I compiled but have added it to the end of this email. Your prayers were answered - prefectly and in God's time. The list amazes me - especially knowing that it is not complete; only those that I know about specifically.

Thank you and remember "God is Good all the time."
Joe

Cindy's Visitation will be Sunday 4-7pm. Funeral Monday 10am. Both at Grand Avenue Christian Church in Carbondale IL. The church is located at 1305 East Grand Avenue.

Grand Avenue Christian Church, Carbondale, IL
Evangelical Christian Church, Valley View, Pennsylvania
Crainville Baptist, Crainville, IL
First Christian Church, Murphysboro, IL
Christ Community Church, Murphysboro, IL
Lowman, NY
Bible Believers Baptist Church, Liberty, IN
Grace Bible Church, Urbana, IL
Lancaster, Ohio
Pittman Park United Methodist Church, Statesboro, GA
The Vineyard, Cambridge, MA
Macomb, IL
United Methodist Church, Macomb, IL
Lutheran Church, Collinsville, IL
Seattle, WA
Bloomington, IL
Second Baptist Church, Marion, IL
Murdale Baptist Church, Carbondale, IL
Lakeside Christian Church, Cincinnati, OH
Cornerstone United Methodist Church, Portsmouth, OH
Farmers Christian Church, Morehead, KY
Catholic Church, Milford, OH
Savannah Diocese, Savannah, GA
Our Lady of the Assumption, Sylvania, GA
Grace Community Church, Mt. Vernon, IL
St James Episcopal, Glastonbury, CT
Christ Presbyterian Church, Nashville, TN
First Christian Church, Anna, IL
Bethalto Christian Church, Bethalto, IL
Harvester Christian Church, St Charles, MO
Gateway Beginner Bible Bowl Coaches (St. Louis, MO)
First Christian Church in Sylvania, GA
Ava Assembly of God, Ava, IL
Northwest Bible Church - Kansas City, MO
First Alliance Church, Richmond, KY
Catholic Church, Carterville, IL
Eden Prairie, MN
Belleville, IL
Wichita, KS
Aldersgate UMC, Marion, IL
St. Xavier Catholic Church, Carbondale, IL
St. Andrews Catholic Church. Murphysboro, IL
Collinsville, IL
Bridgetown Church of Christ, Cincinnati, OH
Georgetown, KY Baptist Church
Epiphany Lutheran Church, Carbondale, IL
Winchester, IL
Berean Christian Church, Murphysboro, IL
United Methodist Church, Murphysboro, IL
Price Hill Church of Christ – Cincinnati, OH
Good Samaritan Church- Tampa Bay, FL
Niedringhaus United Methodist – Granite City, IL
Hardwick Christian Church – Milledgeville, GA
Whitewater Crossing Christian Church – Cincinnati, OH
Lakeshore Christian Church – Antioch, TN
Southern Illinois Bible Bowl Round Robin – Springfield, IL
Little Prairie Christian Church – Albion, IL
Chicago, IL
Jacksonville, IL
Washington, DC
Union Hill Christian Church – Carbondale, IL
Bradenton, FL
City Union Mission - Kansas City, MO

(This email took me two hours to write.)