This blog is cryptic for a reason. It has to do with my work which requires confidentiality.
I think I have watched too many crime shows on TV. I am starting to look not at the easy answers - but rather the dark and insidious ones. Stats are stats and eventually they even out. Even here in So. IL. How can I ask those questions? I have to ask those questions. How do you ask those questions? I have to risk my standing with the two to get the answer about the one.
Sorry for the vagueness of this post. I'll do better next time. I just have to think this through and this, albeit not the best place to do it, is where I do my heavy lifting.
(I miss the old L&Os with Jerry Orbach.)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Forwarded Message Embargo
Public Service Announcement paid for by FME of America:
I received a forwarded email today that actually made me laugh. Those are rare. Forwarded email seems to be an all of nothing thing. It seems there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who forward everything sent to them and the rest of us who have more important things in our lives than sending an unwanted, unfunny, or unmoving email to "10 of your closest friends in the next 15 minutes." If you aren't smiling... you must be in the first group.
This one made me smile. You know how I know it was funny? A friend of mine who never, EVER forwards emails sent it to me after he read it! He's my measuring stick on what is funny and he sent it. That means it has been stamped "FUNNY by Derek".
It's funny because it is a spoof. Spoof comedy is hard to write. The number of spoof movies which are genuinely funny can be listed on one hand. Writing spoofs should only be handled by trained professionals. Going too spoofy and you're off point - too much fun and not enough substance. Too on point and it'll lost its edge. It's a balance beam act on a high wire.
Here's the forwarded email.
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!
9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!
Please, for the sake of the poor little guy in your computer that has to forward all those emails... just stop. If your email doesn't have the "Funny by Derek" stamp... don't forward it.
A Message from FME of America
I received a forwarded email today that actually made me laugh. Those are rare. Forwarded email seems to be an all of nothing thing. It seems there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who forward everything sent to them and the rest of us who have more important things in our lives than sending an unwanted, unfunny, or unmoving email to "10 of your closest friends in the next 15 minutes." If you aren't smiling... you must be in the first group.
This one made me smile. You know how I know it was funny? A friend of mine who never, EVER forwards emails sent it to me after he read it! He's my measuring stick on what is funny and he sent it. That means it has been stamped "FUNNY by Derek".
It's funny because it is a spoof. Spoof comedy is hard to write. The number of spoof movies which are genuinely funny can be listed on one hand. Writing spoofs should only be handled by trained professionals. Going too spoofy and you're off point - too much fun and not enough substance. Too on point and it'll lost its edge. It's a balance beam act on a high wire.
Here's the forwarded email.
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!
9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!
Please, for the sake of the poor little guy in your computer that has to forward all those emails... just stop. If your email doesn't have the "Funny by Derek" stamp... don't forward it.
A Message from FME of America
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thoughts About Today
Inauguration Day.
44th President.
Pres. BHO!?!
Cabinet riddled with scandals before he starts.
Past was all bad - must change.
Not changing that much.
Hoping for better than what I have heard so far.
Hasn't said much.
Cowards in the minority.
Elected to preserve limited government.
Must bow to messiah. Must "get along".
Never supposed to be that way.
Wish him well - wish I was in Roland's seat.
I'm smart enough to sit with the big boys.
hummmm.
44th President.
Pres. BHO!?!
Cabinet riddled with scandals before he starts.
Past was all bad - must change.
Not changing that much.
Hoping for better than what I have heard so far.
Hasn't said much.
Cowards in the minority.
Elected to preserve limited government.
Must bow to messiah. Must "get along".
Never supposed to be that way.
Wish him well - wish I was in Roland's seat.
I'm smart enough to sit with the big boys.
hummmm.
Thar She Blows!
Sunday:
I knew it was coming. I have been bracing myself for it. In everything I have read, the authors say to expect it. It’s mostly hidden. It’s under the surface just waiting to explode and given our situation you can understand why it happens. Even though I was prepared, it still doesn’t make it easier to deal with or easier to watch.
For no apparent reason, Amanda threw a first-class, A+, Number 1, thanks-for-playing-but-we-have- a-winner tantrum.... over not wanting to go to Wal-Mart. I even had gone so far as to prepare her earlier in the day what our schedule was going to be. 1) lunch 2) play on computer 3) short rest time 4) quick trip to Wal-Mart 5) back to playing on computer. Seemed like a pretty winning plan. Yeah, some plan.
I know she is going to have some pent up emotions. I know she is going through something that she doesn’t quite understand. I know I am to be understanding. I also know that she is "working through" her grief in a similar, yet different, way that I am. Her outburst was so volatile and startling that I couldn’t believe it was my red-faced, screaming, swinging daughter.
I finally got her to admit that her emotions were not about her dislike of going to Wal-Mart. (Although I would have much preferred it to be!) No, her outburst had to do with missing her mom. As a result of our long conversation, post-tantrum, we ended up getting in the truck and going to Cindy’s gravesite. I had not been there since her burial. I am not one of those that feel the need to constantly keep vigil over a plot of grass and piece of marble. I have only been to my dad’s grave a couple of times since his burial - the times that I have gone was so I wouldn’t forget where it is. Cindy’s plot was easy to locate and we walked to it without much emotion on her part. She noticed that there weren’t any flowers around it and Amanda promptly began a search for some unattached, wind-blown flowers to decorate the site. After a few minutes locating a bouquet of weathered and tattered silk flowers, Amanda got the idea that with the remaining flowers she should decorate those sites with vases that were empty with some of her leftovers. Thirty minutes later, the entire section of graves were well decorated and attended to. She was completely unemotional through the entire time we were there. She told me that was because "mommy is not here. She is in heaven. It’s just where her body is." How in the world did she get to be this understanding?
Then we went to Wal-Mart. I didn’t think the tantrum was about Wal-Mart.
Monday:
Amanda threw another huge fit at SI Bowl and then in the car. She settled down when I changed the location of our dinner plans. I don’t think it was about which pizza joint we were going to.
I absolutely hate the fact that she has to go through this rollercoaster.
I knew it was coming. I have been bracing myself for it. In everything I have read, the authors say to expect it. It’s mostly hidden. It’s under the surface just waiting to explode and given our situation you can understand why it happens. Even though I was prepared, it still doesn’t make it easier to deal with or easier to watch.
For no apparent reason, Amanda threw a first-class, A+, Number 1, thanks-for-playing-but-we-have- a-winner tantrum.... over not wanting to go to Wal-Mart. I even had gone so far as to prepare her earlier in the day what our schedule was going to be. 1) lunch 2) play on computer 3) short rest time 4) quick trip to Wal-Mart 5) back to playing on computer. Seemed like a pretty winning plan. Yeah, some plan.
I know she is going to have some pent up emotions. I know she is going through something that she doesn’t quite understand. I know I am to be understanding. I also know that she is "working through" her grief in a similar, yet different, way that I am. Her outburst was so volatile and startling that I couldn’t believe it was my red-faced, screaming, swinging daughter.
I finally got her to admit that her emotions were not about her dislike of going to Wal-Mart. (Although I would have much preferred it to be!) No, her outburst had to do with missing her mom. As a result of our long conversation, post-tantrum, we ended up getting in the truck and going to Cindy’s gravesite. I had not been there since her burial. I am not one of those that feel the need to constantly keep vigil over a plot of grass and piece of marble. I have only been to my dad’s grave a couple of times since his burial - the times that I have gone was so I wouldn’t forget where it is. Cindy’s plot was easy to locate and we walked to it without much emotion on her part. She noticed that there weren’t any flowers around it and Amanda promptly began a search for some unattached, wind-blown flowers to decorate the site. After a few minutes locating a bouquet of weathered and tattered silk flowers, Amanda got the idea that with the remaining flowers she should decorate those sites with vases that were empty with some of her leftovers. Thirty minutes later, the entire section of graves were well decorated and attended to. She was completely unemotional through the entire time we were there. She told me that was because "mommy is not here. She is in heaven. It’s just where her body is." How in the world did she get to be this understanding?
Then we went to Wal-Mart. I didn’t think the tantrum was about Wal-Mart.
Monday:
Amanda threw another huge fit at SI Bowl and then in the car. She settled down when I changed the location of our dinner plans. I don’t think it was about which pizza joint we were going to.
I absolutely hate the fact that she has to go through this rollercoaster.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Get On WIth It
It’s amazing how God works.
This was probably the most stressful week I have had in a long while. And of course, it was self-inflicted and unwarranted. I think that was what led to yesterday’s blog about my feelings. (Looking back at yesterday’s blog, I forgot to add "sad.")
I agreed to help out my church with designing and painting a large (8'x10') backdrop for the sanctuary. I was asked last week to do it, but of course for the first 3 days of last week, I was... um... counting the tiles in my bathroom. (17 from the door to the tub, 9 from the wall to the sink. 4 are broken. If you must know.) All of that "counting" got in the way of putting the mural on canvas. That left me a couple of days to design what the mural would look like and get supplies. Tuesday through today were the days I had left to get it actually painted while still trying to do my real job and care for the kids.
With the help of a friend we were able to get the grid down on the canvas early this week. And another friend and I were able to finish painting it today. Ok, he did most of the painting, but since I was the un-commissioned artist, I get the credit. Right? Anyway, it looks awesome. He did a great job on it and those of you who go to GACC will see it Sunday. I will take a picture of it on Sunday and post it on the somewhere for the rest of you to see it.
The point I am trying to make is that without these two friends, my week would have been even more stressed. They were able to help me get this project done - in time and better than I could have done it solo.
You can also add to the successful painting project, three great lunches this week where I spent time with friends. One lunch was with a former co-worker who left for SIU Law school where she will be graduating in the Spring near the top of her class. (I am so proud of her!) She and I share several similar life experiences and have always had a connection. One lunch was with a gentleman from my church who has been a wise counsel through these tumultuous times in my life. And the third lunch was with a former intern and now close friend who has been my "go to girl" for cheap counseling and to share my feelings. Looking back, all three lunches were good in a different way. All three were good meals, too. All three were able to supply me with something I needed that day.
I still stressed over getting the mural completed. I still stressed over bills and home matters. I still stressed over my growing pile of files at my office. I still remembered I shouldn’t stress. God is in control and He knows when you need a break. So hang on, the ride is just starting again.
This was probably the most stressful week I have had in a long while. And of course, it was self-inflicted and unwarranted. I think that was what led to yesterday’s blog about my feelings. (Looking back at yesterday’s blog, I forgot to add "sad.")
I agreed to help out my church with designing and painting a large (8'x10') backdrop for the sanctuary. I was asked last week to do it, but of course for the first 3 days of last week, I was... um... counting the tiles in my bathroom. (17 from the door to the tub, 9 from the wall to the sink. 4 are broken. If you must know.) All of that "counting" got in the way of putting the mural on canvas. That left me a couple of days to design what the mural would look like and get supplies. Tuesday through today were the days I had left to get it actually painted while still trying to do my real job and care for the kids.
With the help of a friend we were able to get the grid down on the canvas early this week. And another friend and I were able to finish painting it today. Ok, he did most of the painting, but since I was the un-commissioned artist, I get the credit. Right? Anyway, it looks awesome. He did a great job on it and those of you who go to GACC will see it Sunday. I will take a picture of it on Sunday and post it on the somewhere for the rest of you to see it.
The point I am trying to make is that without these two friends, my week would have been even more stressed. They were able to help me get this project done - in time and better than I could have done it solo.
You can also add to the successful painting project, three great lunches this week where I spent time with friends. One lunch was with a former co-worker who left for SIU Law school where she will be graduating in the Spring near the top of her class. (I am so proud of her!) She and I share several similar life experiences and have always had a connection. One lunch was with a gentleman from my church who has been a wise counsel through these tumultuous times in my life. And the third lunch was with a former intern and now close friend who has been my "go to girl" for cheap counseling and to share my feelings. Looking back, all three lunches were good in a different way. All three were good meals, too. All three were able to supply me with something I needed that day.
I still stressed over getting the mural completed. I still stressed over bills and home matters. I still stressed over my growing pile of files at my office. I still remembered I shouldn’t stress. God is in control and He knows when you need a break. So hang on, the ride is just starting again.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Oh, What A Feeling!
What is this feeling?
Exhausted
Frustrated
Friendless
Over-whelmed
Isolated
Tired
Nervous
Paralyzed
Needy
Sick
Impaired
Cold
Leprous
Spread Thin
Aimless
Overemotional
Ill-tempered
Numb
Yeah, that about covers it.
Exhausted
Frustrated
Friendless
Over-whelmed
Isolated
Tired
Nervous
Paralyzed
Needy
Sick
Impaired
Cold
Leprous
Spread Thin
Aimless
Overemotional
Ill-tempered
Numb
Yeah, that about covers it.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Cave Time
Exactly when are you supposed to do everything you are supposed to do? That is the struggle I'm in right now.
At work, I have a pretty good idea of how long each of my required tasks take to do. Factor in the constant phone calls and court appearances that run long and I still can keep my work in a manageable pile.
At home, I have other issues. Specifically, two. Amanda and Luke. When we were a household of two adults and one kid, Saturday mornings were cleaning days and catch up days. Cindy was of the mind set that you work your tail off on Saturday morning (after yard sale-ing, of course) and then the rest of the weekend was free for the fun stuff. My idea was to eventually get stuff done on Saturday or Sunday, and enjoy a restful, leisurely weekend even while working. I'll admit that was a source of friction.
I wish I had that friction now, because it would mean something is getting done around here. With those two issues that I mentioned earlier, I can’t do much more than a 5 minute meal and a quickly swiped table. Clothes are getting done - from 10pm to 1am - most weeks. Vacuuming is done as warranted. Toys are picked up when stepped on. The cat is fed when she tells me she needs it. (She has a self-feeding and water bowl.) Wal-mart is visited immediately after work or with kids in tow on the weekends.
There’s something that guys enjoy after work. Cave time. I have heard psychologists say that we men are genetically predisposed to need a time after our "hunt" to change over to a "home-life" mentality. I am definitely one of those guys. As my life is going now - my "cave" time doesn’t happen until after the kids go to bed at 8pm. Unfortunately, 8pm is also when my body says... "Enough for today!" I know I need to stop listening to my body and do the stuff I need to do... but it’s hard to change what your body has been telling you for all these years.
I don’t want a flock of people helping me. I don’t want to need any help, either. I don’t even want sympathy. I don’t want this mess. I don’t want all this stuff everywhere. Of course, if this house had some closet space it would make life easier!
I do want Ty to come and give me a new, gigantic, clean house.
At work, I have a pretty good idea of how long each of my required tasks take to do. Factor in the constant phone calls and court appearances that run long and I still can keep my work in a manageable pile.
At home, I have other issues. Specifically, two. Amanda and Luke. When we were a household of two adults and one kid, Saturday mornings were cleaning days and catch up days. Cindy was of the mind set that you work your tail off on Saturday morning (after yard sale-ing, of course) and then the rest of the weekend was free for the fun stuff. My idea was to eventually get stuff done on Saturday or Sunday, and enjoy a restful, leisurely weekend even while working. I'll admit that was a source of friction.
I wish I had that friction now, because it would mean something is getting done around here. With those two issues that I mentioned earlier, I can’t do much more than a 5 minute meal and a quickly swiped table. Clothes are getting done - from 10pm to 1am - most weeks. Vacuuming is done as warranted. Toys are picked up when stepped on. The cat is fed when she tells me she needs it. (She has a self-feeding and water bowl.) Wal-mart is visited immediately after work or with kids in tow on the weekends.
There’s something that guys enjoy after work. Cave time. I have heard psychologists say that we men are genetically predisposed to need a time after our "hunt" to change over to a "home-life" mentality. I am definitely one of those guys. As my life is going now - my "cave" time doesn’t happen until after the kids go to bed at 8pm. Unfortunately, 8pm is also when my body says... "Enough for today!" I know I need to stop listening to my body and do the stuff I need to do... but it’s hard to change what your body has been telling you for all these years.
I don’t want a flock of people helping me. I don’t want to need any help, either. I don’t even want sympathy. I don’t want this mess. I don’t want all this stuff everywhere. Of course, if this house had some closet space it would make life easier!
I do want Ty to come and give me a new, gigantic, clean house.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
